That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize