It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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