On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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