I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
