I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
