we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
