Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
