I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
