You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
