No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
