VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
