Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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