my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My feet surprised me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
