i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
