Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
