That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
