Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
