After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
