I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
