I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize