Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
