But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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