"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Your dad touched me again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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