so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
