but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
