it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
