I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
