Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
