it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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