Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
