I heard we made out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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