I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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