i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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