Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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