Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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