dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
