What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
