I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
