We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize