UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
