I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize