I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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