so let's talk penis.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
