he wants to bone in the snuggie
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
