He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
