I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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