we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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