I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
