last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
