I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
