Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize