my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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