i may or may not be watching the land before time
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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