Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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