Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you remember whose house we're in?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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