What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Small penises have feelings too.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
