The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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