we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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