Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
