Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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