Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
