so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
