her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
