Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
