I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
