i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
