How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
her vagine was all disorganized.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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