She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This is my gift to your gina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize