Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
