And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
