This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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