i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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