I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
