i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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