she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
