We won't sleep together?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize