My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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