What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize