ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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