he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize