i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
