What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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